Best Interest
By Ian Laczynski
AT RISE: (CURT and DIANA are kissing
passionately on the balcony against
the wall, out of sight of the doors.
Suddenly, DIANA stops. SHE walks
over to the banister.)
DIANA
Can’t do this anymore.
(SHE begins fixing her hair, not looking at CURT. HE stays silent for a moment, and then sighs and turns away from her.)
We can’t do this anymore, Curt. We just can’t.
CURT
(Sighing.)
Just like before.
DIANA
You knew that it wouldn’t last five years ago when we started seeing each other. You don’t have to be a shit about it. You knew what you were getting into.
CURT
So did you. You knew how I felt about you then. You could have asked me anything and I would have done it.
DIANA
I know that, but it wasn’t meant to be. I was with—
CURT
Bill. And you weren’t happy then. I was there for you then, and you wanted to be with me.
DIANA
I couldn’t just leave Bill like that. We were having problems, yes, but I couldn’t just walk out on him like that. We’d been together three years. I couldn’t just walk out of that.
CURT
So you said. But I heard you ended up breaking it off with him anyway, a few months after I left town.
DIANA
Curt, don’t turn this into something it’s not. Just calm down.
CURT
Diana, let’s face it; you didn’t want to be with him, you wanted to be with me. But you went against what you really wanted and chose to be with that asshole.
DIANA
Don’t say that. You never even knew him.
CURT
I knew enough about him to feel that way. You were unhappy. Isn’t that why you wanted me around then? Or was it more than that?
DIANA
Oh, stop it. You know it was more than that.
CURT
Then why couldn’t we be more than that?
DIANA
It wasn’t meant to be.
CURT
Don’t say that.
DIANA
Curt, the timing was off. Things would have been different if—
CURT
No. Don’t you fucking say that. That’s not fair.
DIANA
What?
CURT
Don’t you remember? We both agreed that there couldn’t have been a better or worse time for us. You said that. We said that.
DIANA
And look what happened.
CURT
Oh, what? You went back to him. To Bill. To something that was bound to end.
DIANA
You would have done the same. Or, don’t you remember saying that to me?
(CURT turns away, frustrated.)
CURT
Can’t you see, Diana?
DIANA
What, Curt?
CURT
We would have been something great. We felt so strongly for each other, and if you would have let it work out, who knows what would have happened.
DIANA
You can’t keep feeling that way. Everything is different now. Things change. I changed. I’m sure you’ve changed.
CURT
If you’ve changed so much, then why were you just on top of me?
DIANA
Curt, I just…
CURT
Just what?
DIANA
Sometimes I just wonder what the hell I’m doing with my life.
CURT
What do you mean?
(SHE searches her purse for a moment and takes out an engagement ring, putting it on her finger and showing CURT.)
CURT
Oh, god. Somehow, I’m not surprised.
DIANA
Curt, you know what we had meant more to me than—
CURT
Than what?
DIANA
Than… a lot of things.
CURT
(Confused.)
What does that mean?
DIANA
Curt, I was in love with you, but I couldn’t be in love with you. I didn’t say it then, but I couldn’t say it then. I shouldn’t be saying it now, but…
CURT
You knew I was in love with you. It wasn’t in my best interest, but I knew that. I fell in love with you anyway.
DIANA
You can’t always choose things like that, I guess.
CURT
Maybe not. But you let me fall in love with you. Was it a mistake?
(DIANA turns away and looks over the balcony for a moment.)
DIANA
No, not at all. I wanted you to. I mean, wasn’t it obvious how I felt about you? I would call you back. I’d wait around places I didn’t need to be, hoping you’d show up. I wanted to be with you. I wanted more than just what we had then. I really…
CURT
Loved me?
DIANA
I did love you, Curt. Very, very much.
CURT
I would have done anything you asked of me. Do you remember when you called me to come over at three in the morning?
DIANA
Yes, I do. I won’t forget it.
CURT
I won’t either.
(SHE sighs.)
DIANA
I’m sorry I didn’t keep in touch.
CURT
I really wish you would have. I wanted nothing more after I left town. I can’t tell you how much I felt like I regretted making that decision.
DIANA
I’m sorry.
CURT
Diana, I loved you.
DIANA
I know, Curt.
CURT
I still love you. I don’t even know why.
(HE gets close to her.)
DIANA
We can’t have this. I’m getting married.
CURT
So call it off.
DIANA
No, no…
CURT
Why not?
DIANA
I’m getting married in a week, Curt.
CURT
Shit…
(HE turns away from her, upset.)
CURT
Diana, why, why did you have to kiss me? Why? I just… god dammit.
DIANA
I just…
CURT
You’re not in love with him, are you?
DIANA
Shut up. Don’t say that.
CURT
Why? Because it’s true?
DIANA
Shut the fuck up, Curt. It’s not that, I just—
CURT
You don’t love him.
DIANA
What the hell do you know about it?
CURT
I know enough.
DIANA
It’s not like that.
CURT
Be serious, Diana. Seeing me here after five years, stirring up old feelings. You’re not happy. You weren’t happy then, you’re not happy now.
DIANA
I’m happy enough. I’m getting fucking married in a week.
CURT
Oh yeah? What’s his name?
DIANA
Roger.
CURT
Roger? That’s lamer than Bill.
DIANA
Fuck you. You don’t have to be a god damned child. At least he’s not that.
CURT
Give me a break. I might not be “stable” like he is, but hey, you once said to me that you weren’t marriage material, either. Do you remember that?
DIANA
What? When did I say that?
CURT
You were in my bed. We were waking up just talking and whatever, and I asked you what was going to happen between you and Bill, and you said you didn’t know. You said, “It’s not like we’re supposed to get married. God knows I can’t deal with that.”
(DIANA stops and thinks for a moment.)
Well, can’t you remember?
DIANA
No, I don’t remember that.
CURT
Well, you said it. And now here you are, getting married to some loser in a week.
DIANA
Just stop it. Roger’s a good guy.
CURT
So was Bill, right?
DIANA
God dammit, Curt!
CURT
You left him. Are you going to leave Roger too?
DIANA
I’m going to marry him!
CURT
Ah, forget it.
(HE turns away, about to go back inside.)
DIANA
Wait, Curt.
CURT
What?
DIANA
I just… I don’t know how I feel about so many things anymore. I didn’t want to let go of you, you know. I didn’t.
CURT
But you did let go.
DIANA
I had to.
CURT
You really didn’t have to. You could have let go of Bill. I was there for you when he wasn’t.
DIANA
I know, but you have to understand, Curt, it couldn’t be. I just couldn’t do that to him. I felt stupid enough being with you while I was with him.
CURT
Then why did you keep coming back?
DIANA
I loved you.
CURT
Then what is it now?
DIANA
Curt, I still love you. I just can’t be with you.
CURT
I’ve just never understood why.
DIANA
Because there couldn’t be worse timing in my life.
CURT
It’s more than that, Diana. You just… you’re too committed to what you don’t really want.
DIANA
And you’re… too much for me.
(SHE looks down, away from CURT. HE stands for a moment, thinking. The moment feels almost impenetrable.)
CURT
What is that supposed to mean?
DIANA
Curt, you don’t understand. I can’t just up and leave like that. It’s a terrible thing to do. I’ve made commitments to these people, and I’m going to stick to them. That’s something you’ve never understood. You can’t just walk out on people like that. I can’t just leave and expect everything to be okay.
CURT
Diana, it’s so much simpler than that. If you really love me and want to be with me, if you want this, then it’s yours. You have to be where you’re happy.
DIANA
But it’s not that simple. I have this life, and I can’t just let go of it like that. I’m getting married in a week. I have responsibilities.
(CURT thinks for a moment.)
CURT
Then you’ll never be free. You’ll always be in that cage. You’ll never be who you really want to be.
DIANA
And exactly what do you want me to be?
CURT
Just you. I love you.
DIANA
I just can’t love you the way you loved me then.
(CURT sighs and looks down. SHE hesitates before continuing.)
I don’t know why things have to be fucked up.
CURT
Me neither. But we don’t have to be this way, do we?
DIANA
What do you mean?
CURT
We love each other. That means something.
DIANA
It means something, but we can’t be together.
CURT
We should be together.
DIANA
I’m telling you now, Curt, I wish we could be together. I wish we could have been together from the beginning, but it wasn’t meant to be.
(SHE starts heading to the door. CURT remains standing by the banister.)
DIANA (cont’d)
I do love you, Curt. I just can’t be with you.
(SHE goes back inside. CURT is alone. HE sighs and looks out to the horizon.)
END OF PLAY
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